Thursday, July 23, 2009
Find yourself.
So, basically I am outside. It is late July and around 8 o’clock. The sky has a pinkish/ purple-ish tint to it. It isn’t the most beautiful thing I have ever seen but it has a type of beauty to it. I am listening to the song called Stolen by Dashboard Confessional, and in this moment, I feel content. Everyone around me is happy and that keeps me content with life. Emmie is at UAB, bored to death, I’m sure, and I am missing her. Lindsey has gone to Decatur for the night, but I ate Subway with her earlier. Austin has yet to pay me for Warped Tour tickets and is ………..I am not sure what he is doing because he clearly didn’t understand the question when I asked him, but if I had to guess, I don’t think he is happy. I hope one day he will be though, just right now he may be below “content level.” He said he is playing sega and he enjoys it though, like I said- not happy. Miranda is still a friend of mine, and one that I am very happy to have. She is at home drawing, and she is very happy doing it. A BUG JUST LANDED ON MY COMPUTER AND WENT UNDER MY KEYS!! DAMN. Jenny Love is watching Baby Mama and she enjoys it. (: She is another person I am lucky to have in my life. CJ had to be at Trent’s at 8, so he is probably there, but he went to see Abby first, so he could be there too. And that makes him happy, I am sure. My cat is rubbing her head on my toes, haha. It is strange how kitty cats don’t care where your toes have been. Then again, she killed a bird today, and that is nasty, I guess she doesn’t think it can get much worse than that, and she is right, for her it can’t. How nice would it be to be a cat. I am thinking that I may call Jenny or Miranda later. I really like both of them. I don’t have to be 18 when I am with any of my friends, and I guess that is why I make them my friends. The sky has now changed colors, and it is into a deep pink/ purple color. It contains more beauty than it did 20 minutes ago. The bugs are eating me. They always try to eat me alive, it is ridiculous. “Don’t you want to wear my diamonds?” I am now listening to that song. It is entertaining, and sure, it makes me happy. Goodnight to you, and you. (: -Alex.
Monday, June 15, 2009
We aren't worth the originality.
i find it funny that most of the time, girls or guys get screwed over.
it's absolutely hilarious that even after being screwed over, they find themselves back in their arms. Something I too take part in doing. Who knows why so many people put themselves through pain to be happy.. when someone else could possibly make them happier. But, no one seems to take that chance. I think that it must take a lot of courage to do. It's kinda like.. an abusive relationship. Everyone thinks... why don't they just leave? and be happy but not one really understands until they are placed in that type of situation. I guess, I have had enough courage to stand up and leave before.. but I lost it, and I came back to what I had already helped myself get out of. Which really, it's just like... (in an abusive relationship) getting free and being happy, and no longer abused and several months later.. going back and saying.. "hey, why don't you hit me again for old times sake?" HOW STUPID! Or in my situation.. being hurt emotionally and then thinking... maybe... just maybe people change? Nahh, they don't. People don't change. People do what they want. Because I mean,think about it... if we all changed to make other people happy, how happy would we be?? We wouldn't. Why would we change our believes to be with someone that wouldn't change for us? Why even bother to make that sacrifice? I really just don't get it. This is me, speaking to myself.. because I can't seem to get it through my head that people don't change.
A mistake isn't a mistake if it's always repeated.
it's absolutely hilarious that even after being screwed over, they find themselves back in their arms. Something I too take part in doing. Who knows why so many people put themselves through pain to be happy.. when someone else could possibly make them happier. But, no one seems to take that chance. I think that it must take a lot of courage to do. It's kinda like.. an abusive relationship. Everyone thinks... why don't they just leave? and be happy but not one really understands until they are placed in that type of situation. I guess, I have had enough courage to stand up and leave before.. but I lost it, and I came back to what I had already helped myself get out of. Which really, it's just like... (in an abusive relationship) getting free and being happy, and no longer abused and several months later.. going back and saying.. "hey, why don't you hit me again for old times sake?" HOW STUPID! Or in my situation.. being hurt emotionally and then thinking... maybe... just maybe people change? Nahh, they don't. People don't change. People do what they want. Because I mean,think about it... if we all changed to make other people happy, how happy would we be?? We wouldn't. Why would we change our believes to be with someone that wouldn't change for us? Why even bother to make that sacrifice? I really just don't get it. This is me, speaking to myself.. because I can't seem to get it through my head that people don't change.
A mistake isn't a mistake if it's always repeated.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Who I AM.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
things you will want to know when i’m famous.;]
ATTENTION! :D
things that you soo want to know.
-uhh mm, first and foremost, i pee in my pants all the time. like, if i start laughing really hard... then yeah. haha.
-second, i don't know what the word "foremost" means, i just know that people use it... so, i did too! haha.
-i apologize a lot, for stupid stuff... but, when i need to apologize, i never do.
-I have asthma and i'm anemic and i use those reasons as my excuses for everything...example: alex, open the blinds... i can't... i'm anemic.:D
-I secretly tell myself that i'm not anemic though and I don't take my medicine for it..I don't think that I need it.
-When I use my inhaler, I hold it at least four inches away from my mouth, spray it and try to breathe in what I can, because the taste is nasty on my tongue.
-I think I need glasses but I haven't told anyone because I don't want to have to have glasses or contacts.
-Everytime I give out my phone number, I say the area code, even though I don't have to because you don't have to use it in my state.
-I tend to hold a grudge, but not in the mean way... in the funny way.
-I am told that when my hair is in my face, i look like the ring girl, and yeah... the word grudge reminded me of that.
-I hate drinking, eating, and yes..... double dipping after people. i find it sick.
-Things stick in my mind, and I think of random people sometimes when I do something because they did it once... and it makes me wonder if they ever or anyone ever does that.
-When I am annoyed, I usually say K.
-When people, uh hm... Scott, mention Haddaway... it annoys me, because I wasn't ever talking about him in the first place.
-Oh, and when people AUSTIN join in on the haddaway thing, when they weren't even in the room makes me want to bring a knife to their throat.
-I'm not a witch, Brandon... but thanks for giving me something to laugh about. Now, allow me to cast a spell on you.
-I enjoy telling past stories.
-I dislike the word "aint" or any sort of sentence that makes no sense to the human eye at all.
-I hate when people pull right out in front of you when they could have waited for you [the last car] to go by... and then slow down: but, it's okay if I do it.
-I hate when people act really really stupid and immature: But it's okay if I do it.
-Basically, I'm a hypocrite. But, really... I don't act stupid like some people.
-A lot of people most likely think that I like them. bahahaha. i mean, i do tell them that i love them and i want to marry them, all why hugging them. bahaha.
-I, and friends, go to the middle school and pretend we are interviewing for Red Hot News, but really, we just get the kids out of class and ask them stupid stuff, just to talk, it's rather funny.
--i'lladdmorelaterr.
what will says about me:
BEGINNING WITH NUMBA 1 (because well..that makes sense.). I sometimes look like barney the dinosaur.
2. It takes 3 hours for me to put my pants on.
3. I have alot of hair.
4. I am 'smart'.
5. I think the world is going to end soon so i must tell everyone and prepare.
6. I have a giraffe named pete in my hand.
7. I think pete wentz is a moronic loser that sucks at everything. bahahahahaha.
8. My nose is stupid.
9. I cant blow my nose in front of 10000 people in the bathroom talking about non-important things.
10. I was hit in the face with a bathroom door once.
11. I hate the number 11 (cant believe you forgot that one)
12. Will is married to my mom.
13. I think Will is the coolest person in the world because well, he is.
14. I am going to Japan.
15. I also like Japanese food although it is ridiculously expensive.
16. Sitting on the steps outside is better than going to actual class.
17. I can run around a trailer in 12 seconds.
18. I am attempting to get every color of the rainbow in converse.
19. I have shot myself with an invisible gun very many times, but nothing has happened yet.
20. I dont take my pills.
21. I wake up at random times in the morning and do weird things like take showers at 3 AM.
22. I have dreams that even a person on crack would laugh at and say wow thats strange.
23. I take a lot of pictures..a lot, even if it means taking 289832 before finding the right one.
24. I ask for gum every day, but luckily Will has a neverending pocket of gum.
and 25. Even though I do some pretty weird things sometimes, thats just more to love about me. I am a very awesome person and one of the best friends anyone could ask for.
&&& Will forgot this one, i wish my phone number was 8675309 so when people would call me, i could answer and sing the song to them:]
things you will want to know when i’m famous.;]
ATTENTION! :D
things that you soo want to know.
-uhh mm, first and foremost, i pee in my pants all the time. like, if i start laughing really hard... then yeah. haha.
-second, i don't know what the word "foremost" means, i just know that people use it... so, i did too! haha.
-i apologize a lot, for stupid stuff... but, when i need to apologize, i never do.
-I have asthma and i'm anemic and i use those reasons as my excuses for everything...example: alex, open the blinds... i can't... i'm anemic.:D
-I secretly tell myself that i'm not anemic though and I don't take my medicine for it..I don't think that I need it.
-When I use my inhaler, I hold it at least four inches away from my mouth, spray it and try to breathe in what I can, because the taste is nasty on my tongue.
-I think I need glasses but I haven't told anyone because I don't want to have to have glasses or contacts.
-Everytime I give out my phone number, I say the area code, even though I don't have to because you don't have to use it in my state.
-I tend to hold a grudge, but not in the mean way... in the funny way.
-I am told that when my hair is in my face, i look like the ring girl, and yeah... the word grudge reminded me of that.
-I hate drinking, eating, and yes..... double dipping after people. i find it sick.
-Things stick in my mind, and I think of random people sometimes when I do something because they did it once... and it makes me wonder if they ever or anyone ever does that.
-When I am annoyed, I usually say K.
-When people, uh hm... Scott, mention Haddaway... it annoys me, because I wasn't ever talking about him in the first place.
-Oh, and when people AUSTIN join in on the haddaway thing, when they weren't even in the room makes me want to bring a knife to their throat.
-I'm not a witch, Brandon... but thanks for giving me something to laugh about. Now, allow me to cast a spell on you.
-I enjoy telling past stories.
-I dislike the word "aint" or any sort of sentence that makes no sense to the human eye at all.
-I hate when people pull right out in front of you when they could have waited for you [the last car] to go by... and then slow down: but, it's okay if I do it.
-I hate when people act really really stupid and immature: But it's okay if I do it.
-Basically, I'm a hypocrite. But, really... I don't act stupid like some people.
-A lot of people most likely think that I like them. bahahaha. i mean, i do tell them that i love them and i want to marry them, all why hugging them. bahaha.
-I, and friends, go to the middle school and pretend we are interviewing for Red Hot News, but really, we just get the kids out of class and ask them stupid stuff, just to talk, it's rather funny.
--i'lladdmorelaterr.
what will says about me:
BEGINNING WITH NUMBA 1 (because well..that makes sense.). I sometimes look like barney the dinosaur.
2. It takes 3 hours for me to put my pants on.
3. I have alot of hair.
4. I am 'smart'.
5. I think the world is going to end soon so i must tell everyone and prepare.
6. I have a giraffe named pete in my hand.
7. I think pete wentz is a moronic loser that sucks at everything. bahahahahaha.
8. My nose is stupid.
9. I cant blow my nose in front of 10000 people in the bathroom talking about non-important things.
10. I was hit in the face with a bathroom door once.
11. I hate the number 11 (cant believe you forgot that one)
12. Will is married to my mom.
13. I think Will is the coolest person in the world because well, he is.
14. I am going to Japan.
15. I also like Japanese food although it is ridiculously expensive.
16. Sitting on the steps outside is better than going to actual class.
17. I can run around a trailer in 12 seconds.
18. I am attempting to get every color of the rainbow in converse.
19. I have shot myself with an invisible gun very many times, but nothing has happened yet.
20. I dont take my pills.
21. I wake up at random times in the morning and do weird things like take showers at 3 AM.
22. I have dreams that even a person on crack would laugh at and say wow thats strange.
23. I take a lot of pictures..a lot, even if it means taking 289832 before finding the right one.
24. I ask for gum every day, but luckily Will has a neverending pocket of gum.
and 25. Even though I do some pretty weird things sometimes, thats just more to love about me. I am a very awesome person and one of the best friends anyone could ask for.
&&& Will forgot this one, i wish my phone number was 8675309 so when people would call me, i could answer and sing the song to them:]
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Losing.
It's like loving someone that doesn't love you,
it's acting as your heart is one when you know it's in two.
It's holding onto the past when the future is near,
that constant complication, that constant fear.
It's something like, checking the time for no apparent reason,
or hoping, just wishing for the next season.
Maybe like, praying for better days,
just because life isn't going your way.
If I tried to explain it, it'd be like this,
the moment right after a slow kiss,
not wanting for it to be goodbye,
but knowing that's a lie.
It's exactly like, a little piece of you died,
and you will never get it back,
it's something you'll always lack.
So nothing will ever be the same,
and there's no one to blame.
It's just so real, and I guess that's how I feel.
---Alex Smith 2.19.08
it's acting as your heart is one when you know it's in two.
It's holding onto the past when the future is near,
that constant complication, that constant fear.
It's something like, checking the time for no apparent reason,
or hoping, just wishing for the next season.
Maybe like, praying for better days,
just because life isn't going your way.
If I tried to explain it, it'd be like this,
the moment right after a slow kiss,
not wanting for it to be goodbye,
but knowing that's a lie.
It's exactly like, a little piece of you died,
and you will never get it back,
it's something you'll always lack.
So nothing will ever be the same,
and there's no one to blame.
It's just so real, and I guess that's how I feel.
---Alex Smith 2.19.08
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Nothing Left To Say.
Monday, October 29, 2007
nothing left to say
a mother, a daughter, a friend, hopeless and without end.
this journey will be long, it started when it all went wrong, when friends were others, children were visits, and parents, unknown.
now she sits alone, alone for all the things she hates, and though she is relaxed, her body still aches. aches for the ones she loves, and misses the warmth of others.
and everynight, she begins her routine, crying about the important things, knowing she did wrong, yet, trying to stay strong.
and as she turns over to pray, she whispers her thankyou's and blesses and because tomorrow is just another day, she closes her eyes because there is nothing left to say.
By: Alex Smith. 8/12/07
nothing left to say
a mother, a daughter, a friend, hopeless and without end.
this journey will be long, it started when it all went wrong, when friends were others, children were visits, and parents, unknown.
now she sits alone, alone for all the things she hates, and though she is relaxed, her body still aches. aches for the ones she loves, and misses the warmth of others.
and everynight, she begins her routine, crying about the important things, knowing she did wrong, yet, trying to stay strong.
and as she turns over to pray, she whispers her thankyou's and blesses and because tomorrow is just another day, she closes her eyes because there is nothing left to say.
By: Alex Smith. 8/12/07
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Don't Let Me Lose You.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Don't let me lose you
In this wretched world full of hate, love and sorrow
Don't be mislead by who you think you are.
You may think you have been through it all.
You've hit the dead end, it was your last call.
Just don't be surprised when your phone rings again,
With bad news that someone has to lend.
The lost love was never found, the father's dead, buried in the ground, the mother's heart, her heart will pound, as she sits surrounded in the sound.
The bloody wrists, the flowing pain, cut deep sweetie. It's all a game.
The wet cheeks, the helpless whines, cry honey. It's your time to shine.
The blown brains, the insignificant screams, pull it baby. It's as bad as it seems.
The dry throats, the heartless gags, swallow it dear. It's nothing to fear.
There are many and there are few, just please don't let me lose you.
-alex smith 4/2/07
Don't let me lose you
In this wretched world full of hate, love and sorrow
Don't be mislead by who you think you are.
You may think you have been through it all.
You've hit the dead end, it was your last call.
Just don't be surprised when your phone rings again,
With bad news that someone has to lend.
The lost love was never found, the father's dead, buried in the ground, the mother's heart, her heart will pound, as she sits surrounded in the sound.
The bloody wrists, the flowing pain, cut deep sweetie. It's all a game.
The wet cheeks, the helpless whines, cry honey. It's your time to shine.
The blown brains, the insignificant screams, pull it baby. It's as bad as it seems.
The dry throats, the heartless gags, swallow it dear. It's nothing to fear.
There are many and there are few, just please don't let me lose you.
-alex smith 4/2/07
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