WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

That's right, wasting time. I always seem to find inspiration within the hour or 2AM. Let's throw some things out there and then explain. I'm still job-less. (That one is self-explanatory) My family drives me crazy. I am going to school again, thank God. My commitment issues never seem to fail. I've accepted being alone forever. I applied to AustinCC in Texas tonight. I don't want to leave. I do want to leave. I hate my life. I love my life. I'm probably the most confused person in the whole world. Maybe I should see a counselor... I never thought I'd say that. Okay, 'splaining time.
1. My family drives me crazy. -Ever since my mom has been home, it's been more chaotic than usual. I love my mother, don't get me wrong. I just don't think we 'get' each other. She doesn't understand me, and I don't understand her, and I think it's too late for any of that. You know when you meet someone, you either like them or you don't? And usually you're parents are annoying but only because you are pretty much just like them because THEY raised you. Well, it's not like that with my mother and I. She didn't exactly raise me, and I don't think I'm just like her, and I think that bothers her.
2. I'm going to school again, thank God. -Well, I'm attending school at Calhoun. I'm so glad too. I really like school, and I couldn't see myself just not getting a degree. YAY.
3. My commitment issues never seem to fail. -Seriously. I can't commit to anyone, AND I always find something wrong with them. This isn't a problem now, but one day, it will be. Maybe I'm just stuck in the past, but I really don't think so. I'm just stuck on myself.
4. I've accepted being alone forever. -^^Read #3.
5. I applied to AustinCC in Texas tonight. -I really did. It's a school in Texas, I'm honestly really scared of actually going and leaving all that I know behind. But really, screw this place.
The rest is pretty much self-explanatory. Life is so confusing for me right now. I feel like I'm the only person that feels this way. Like, I wasn't born at the right time. This sucks. I feel like I'm mentally retarded or something. It's not fair. I miss my dad, a lot. Not that he would help, I'd still be lost in this huge world, he'd probably just be lost too. No one knows what to say to me about it, and no one understands it.. and it's whatever, because it's probably better if they don't. If I would sleep at this hour, I wouldn't have this thinking problem.
I have a math test tomorrow, wish me luck. I'm nervous and excited(:

Taking Back Sunday comes out with a new album this Spring. Needless to say, I'm stoked.
Oh, and Happy New Year(; I wish you the best.