You Won't Free Me.

I've begged with the Summer and it is still leaving.
As the Fall makes its way into Alabama, I pack my bags. I am filling them with good and bad memories, old and new, happy and sad. I have met some of my best friends this summer. People that I have already known, just never put much faith in. I've learned so much and regretted so little. I feel like this was it; More than puberty; A huge growth spurt in knowledge. (If that makes sense) I definitely feel older than I ever have, and younger in the best way. I feel as if I make my own decisions, and I really do. My opinions have reached a new high, but I could never stop myself from living my life. -Even if I tried. Eighteen is the year that I have dreaded since I turned seventeen, because that itself was enough for me. I have been scaring myself so much with all the tears I give to the "college" subject. I've always seen myself as the "get out there and do it" kind of person, I haven't ever spent so much time thinking about my future, which is why I probably never even pictured myself getting this far. If you know me well, then you know I always pictured myself dying before graduating or making it to college. It may seem gruesome, but it is how I imagined it. Now with only a week away, I couldn't be more afraid, and that takes so much to admit. I'm scared of losing everything I have ever gained. I am afraid of ending my friendship with Emmie or Lindsey, Austin and CJ, Jenny, Miranda or Anna, even Forrest, Wormy, Caleb, Luke, Jacody, Skyler, Samantha, Joe, Tyler or Chase. There are so many people that I don't even think about. The people that mean so much when they are around, but I don't realize how much I will miss them when I'm gone. I've already lost so many over the summer, and now it's wanting to take even more from me. I know that losing also means gaining. I could probably become friends with anyone! But, why take what I already have? These are the people I have surrounded myself with the last few months, and I can't take to lose them. Those people that I may think that I hate, they will be on my mind. So summer when you go, leave behind my memories, all the good and bad, and don't let me forget a thing. And Fall when you come, go easy on me, because for once, I think I've had enough.