My Own Disaster.

I'm nineteen, like the song, by Tegan and Sara. I'm nineteen. One more time? I'm nineteen. Get it yet? Good. So, I've noticed... ya know when it's your birthday and your whole family is like.. "So, Suzy Q, do you FEEL any older?" And Suzy Q is like.. "Nope, I feel the same." No one asked me that this time, no one said... "Hey, Alex, Do you FEEL nineteen?" It's guaranteed that I would have said yes, because I do. I feel nineteen, if not older. I feel like I'm growing up and decisions are having to be made. I'm not one to cry, but if I was, I would have cried about this getting older thing like 5 times already/ x's 20. That's a lot. This birthday, I realized a lot of things, I grow up this year. I go out and get serious about life. I can't imagine why anyone would want to get serious about life. And, I don't think that I ever truly will. Life isn't supposed to be taken seriously. Life is supposed to be an experience. Your last experience. So, in my eyes, if you want to be living on your last dime every month, fine. If you want to save it all up to bury with you, fine with me. It's YOUR life. I guess my advice would be, don't take it too seriously, because this may just be it. As I am typing all of this, I realize that this year will contradict all of that, because I will need to get a little serious this year. As I go on, I also realize that my life is so unexpected. I don't know where I'm going/ who I'll marry/ when I'll die, etc. And, while all of that would be kind of interesting to know, I think I can wait and find out. It's weird how some people thrive on mysteries, because life in itself, is one big mystery. I only hope that the rest of this year will open my eyes, and get me out of Moulton. I'm excited to know what comes next in my life, and I think I know not to ever take it too seriously. People die young everyday. And, regrets are a waste of a life. Lastly, "I do feel nineteen, if not older." Sleep on that tonight.