A Perfect Sonnet, Or A Disaster.

Have you ever just had a genuinely bad day? Of course you have. It isn't that rare or uncommon, but for me it is. And today, was bad. I can't exactly describe how it was bad, it just was. Anyone that talked to me got on my nerves, and whatever they said disappointed me. It could have been because I slept until 5 PM, and my car won't start, but who knows? I am missing an amount of good music in my life, so if you have anything, please donate it to my knowledge. Something life changing, with a good amount of lyrics included please. Also feel free to recommend a book or two. I recently finished reading "Thirteen Reasons Why." I enjoyed it, it was about a suicide and she had recorded tapes explaining why and who helped her with her decision. I'll actually get some sleep tonight, and go to class tomorrow. I received an apology tonight, that I should have received a long time ago. Actually, I did get it a long time ago, but it was never honest. Tonight, I believe that it was honest. It wasn't fair and nothing is justified in that situation, but as long as apologizing helps her get by then I will accept it, because I had forgiven her a while back. Of course I still think about Ian and everything that happened, because it was a major part of my life, but she has always been forgiven. After all, you can't help who you may fall for. Or can you? I don't think you can belong to someone but if he did, then it was never me, because I never deserved to have someone.. or maybe I did but it was long before I had hurt him. It was before 2009. I was given the chance to start fresh and be happy, and I am/was very thankful for that, but life is never easy so I never made it that way. Fighting for someone was what I wanted. Now that I think about it, and how I am now, maybe I always pulled myself away from CJ.. I assumed it was him, because he always broke up with me, or hurt my feelings, but maybe I did something for that to happen because I wasn't ready for a commitment, just like with Ian, left him for CJ, because I wasn't ready for a commitment, and now.. straying from anyone who may show interest in me because I can't do commitment. Maybe this didn't just begin when I came to UNA, maybe it has existed this whole time, or maybe it hasn't. Maybe I am over thinking the whole situation, and maybe I'm not. Either way, this is what I think about a lot, how much I stray from a relationship now that I'm at UNA. Oh well. Sleep well, don't think too much.
"We accept the love we think we deserve."
<3